I wish I could walk toward you, throw my arms around you and whisper into your ear;
- I'm not who you used to know. I'm not the girl who lied and broke your heart anymore. The new me was born out of our chaos and I want you to meet that girl. My name is Jasmine, the poison is out of me and I love you. I never, ever stopped and never will. You're the only one who can complete my life. Please give me this chance and I'll never let you down again. I swear to it.
I hate what you've become and I hate myself for letting us fall apart. If I had treated you right, If I had stayed by your side no matter what I would've also had the chance to take care of you and keep you from what you're sinking in to now.
Honey, I will always love you with all my heart. I'd fucking die for you. Do you have any idea how much I've been crying for you? How much I'm still crying for you?
You know I've changed. And so have you. And I wish I could say for the better.
I can't do anything about you drinking yourself to death, you can change yourself all you want, cut your hair, change color, wear slutty clothes, have sex with every guy you see - but NEVER change that beautiful heart & soul of yours. It's priceless, don't let it go.
Mööörning. Är i stort sätt nyvaken och sitter här i nickes SOVVÄNLIIGA tischa. Ist för att äta frukost som vanliga människor sitter vi dock vid datorerna de första vi gör. Nize.
So, what happened yesterday? Själv så satt vi och checkade Paranormal activity 2 och käkade vår KLADDIGA kladdkaka. tkr den va rätt så creapy, fast ettan var väl bättre :P
Talking everyday, borrowing each other clothes, partying together, gossip together...ain't real friendship. Real friendship is knowing that even if you don't talk much these days, that certain person will always be there when you really need her. Real friendship is knowing that even if a hell of a long time has passed, the love still remains. ♥
Jag & Nickepicke har tagit hand om hans lillebror och bakat en ultrakladdig kladdkaka som vi inte vågat hugga in på än. SJÄLVKLART lyckades jag få smet i håret och på min vita tröja, samt bränna mig me fingret på plåten och nästan ramla över diskmaskinen som var öppen hahaha.. En vanlig kille hade flytt fältet för en sån klumpig tjej men I'm pretty damn lucky I guess
So you're taking off tonight. Awkward. Who am I suppose to disturb every night when I can't go to sleep, who am I suppose to play games with without being embarrassed every damn time I lose? Who am I suppose to tease until you literally throw me out of the house? Who's suppose to tell me the chickens aren't coming to kill us when I'm drunk?
Yeah, life around is going to suck without you!
Anyway. I know you're stalking my blog so I just wanted to tell you; thanks. For listening, for being such a good friend and for taking care of me when no one else has the strength to. Thanks for cheering me up with your homemade chocolate cakes & ice cream. Thanks for carrying me whenever I feel to sleepy to move. Lol. Just thanks.
And you better bake me a huuuuuuge chocolate cake, that's the only way to make up for what you're doing to me!
Cgillar me firas,felicia,ibbe & emilia och ska snart dra vidare med emilia honiii, some cheering up time will be needed ♥ You know we've got your back through everything, nothing's gonna bring you down again!
Maybe this can be a good thing. It's hard and it's killing me but after all, wasn't this what I wanted all along? I just wish I could have you and my freedom. But I can't, and I'm losing you now. For a while at least. And I know that means you don't believe in me anymore. But I'll show you, I'll succed and make you proud even though you feel like i'm already lost and doomed.
I still love you and I wish I could've got what I wanted, what I need - and still keep you. But I guess you can't have everything, right?
Från fredags till måndags var jag iaf hos älskling. Vi chillade mest, såg massa film och jag LÄT han spöa mig i kortspel…säger vi.
Igår stack jag vidare och mötte upp Ibbe & Emilia.Drog hem till Emilia och fick träffa hennes nya söta kattunge Ashi (Jag fick bli gudmor :O mjauuu…) och därefter drog vi ner på stan – vars jag gjorde bort mig totalt xD. Tur att de va måndagskväll och de knappt var nåra out there. Jag & emilia satt och väntade på Felicia inne på max då jag började somna till. Jag var sviiiintrött och fick kämpa för att hålla ögonlocken öppna. Jag kände mig helt drogad och somnade nåra minuter till och från. Sen då vi skulle därifrån var det som att jag gick i sömnen. Jag tog mina väskor, ställde mig upp – och föll ihop. HAHA! Tur det inte var så många inne på max asså. Emilia garvade typ en fucking halvtimma efter det?! Haha ..gjorde ont i röven det där fallet asså hahah. Efter det träffade vi Felicia på döönken och senare tog jag bussen hem. På resan hem blev det chit chat med Sina på telefon och jag ber om ursäkt om jag typ lät drogad Sina hehehe. Jag fick anstränga mig till tusen för att snacka normalt :O Ja…. Och när jag kom hem somnade jag såklart dirre… XD
Kan inte fatta att det är snart ett år sedan du lämnade oss.
Sista gången jag träffade dig och fick hålla dig i mina armar någonsin var 28:nde december 2009. Det var då du väntade så länge på min försenade buss på busstationen i Umeå. Vi var så himla glada att se varandra och det första du gjorde var att ge mig en bamsekram på stört. därefter mobbade jag dig för din längd fast jag hade typ 13 cm klackar och sen började du mobba mig för att jag fick så jävla ONT...
Vi drog och såg Erik Grönwall och lackade på nå emos som SATT på golveti gallerian och tog upp hur jävla mkt plats som helst. Efter det drog vi och köpte fyra redbull var (törstiga?) , gick runt på Åhléns och praktiskt taget la oss på golvet av garv pga den där psykiskt störda tjejen som knackade på CD skivor och frågade om dom va hennes pojkvän...
Vi lovade att ses snart efter det men det lyckades alltid bli uppskjutet vilket jag ångrar. Vi bestämde oss att träffas , dagen som skulle varit ca 2 dar efter att du försvann. Så sista dagen jag fick ha dig hos mig förblir 28 december 2009.
Vi sjöng me och himlade ögonen åt fjortisarna som stod ovan och skrek efter Erik, jag tappade min kamera typ 2 ggr och du retade mig resten av dagen över hur klumpig jag är :]
Usch..du gav mig livsglädje Elli. Du visste hur man skulle få mig på bra humör då allt skiter sig, du förstod mig.
Unknowingly you've always had these expectations from others, expectations you feel like you have to fulfill. Unknowingly you’ve been pushing yourself into things you honestly don’t want, but you’ve done it anyway because someone wanted you to. Someone expected that from you.
And when you don’t succeed you feel like the world is coming to an end. A complete loser and suddenly you’re nothing to that someone.
You’re afraid and you don’t even have the strength to get your brutal desire. You don’t know how to get that strength either, and when you feel so lost, torn and hopeless you just stop to care. Cause caring hurts, you feel like if there’s no escape from the problem – you’ll just pretend there’s no problem.
Everyone has a point in their life when they’ve just had enough, throw away all their ambitions and goals and think; what the hell! It just doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing really does.
I’m getting closer to that point each second. Giving up on everything. I know I can’t make school and at the same time keep up everything else in my life. Something has to go and I have to choose. But choosing is so hard that I might as well say fuck you to precisely everything and just jump of a fucking bridge.
Honestly. What am I even doing in school? I just wanna play my music, I just wanna write my stupid biographic lyrics and poems and make a living out of it. But I know the chances to that are as big as the idea of a pig flying out of my but every Sunday morning with greetings from the none existing god.
So what the hell am I supposed to do? Mom will probably chop my head of today and I haven’t really thought about it earlier but now I’m feeling almost kinda sick about it. Feels like I’m gonna throw up or something. It's like I'm holding on to somebody's hand ,hanging from a bridge and for the first time in my life I'm not saying 'don't let me fall', in this case I just wanna scream 'let go god dammit!'
God. I’ve already started, might as well break all of the rules now.
Yeah I'll break the rules, I'll put down my foot and scream hell no, whatcha gonna do about it? Don't even try to tell me you didn't see this coming. I'm just one of many who chose this way, the road that leeds us all away from you. You pushed them away with your stupid rules and controlling need and now you're pushing me away. I love you, but I can't deal with you anymore.
I don't care 'bout what you say, cause imma do it anyway
So now I’ve had enough and it’s time to show she can’t control every little move I make. Either way she accepts me and my choices or she can simply go to hell. And now she’s chosen hell so… too bad for her.
You know I love you but I'm growing up now, I'm not your ten years old little girl anymore. And the more you try to control me before the age of 18 the less you'll see me after I've turned 18. Think about that.
And I'm not coming home, not for a while at least. I've just had enough. You're my mother and you're supposed to support me, you're supposed to see how I feel. I know you've got problems of your own but you're still my mother and I can't even remember the last time you told me you love me. You're so cold it scares me, cause I don't wanna end up like that. The more I take your bullshit, the more I turn colder. But I'm not you mom, I'm not making the same choices.
And maybe I'm not a star in school like you were, but I chose right when it comes to love. School and jobs ain't gonna make me happy, he is. Accept it, be happy and make it fit in to your head that it's not gonna change.
It's because of you I don't feel good enough.
It's because of you I almost said goodbye to the only one I've ever really loved.
It's because of you I'm not coming home tomorrow.
And don't get all hysterical like you use to. I'm 16 years old I can manange on my own for a few days.
What the hell did I do? Until the day I met you You're all that's on my mind That's how I'm killing time
Ooh
I look at the photographs and I smile Back then, when our hearts were aligned But now there's really nothin' left I sigh and guess it's for the best
Who do I lean on when I don't have your shoulder Who do I turn to when we're all over, cuz we're over
REF. Now I know why they say nothing last forever Guess I had some stupid idea we'd always be together And it kills me when all that filled me up Leaves my heart And it kills me to know what we had wasn't enough It tore us apart So sweet dream I lived in too long Unwillingly I'm now letting you go I'm letting you go
I guess I used to leave you hanging on the line But don't say I didn't warn you every time I said you needed someone better And that we really shouldn't be together
But love blinded you as it blinded me And I hate myself for letting you believe Oh every time I somehow caused you pain I could see the light within you fade
And I don't wanna be the reason to your fall And now I'm reactin' to this wake up call
REF. Now I know why they say nothing last forever Guess I had some stupid idea we'd always be together And it kills me when all that filled me up Leaves my heart And it kills me to know what we had wasn't enough It tore us apart So sweet dream I lived in too long Unwillingly I'm now letting you go I'm letting you go
And now you walk away Thinkin' she never really cared But remember what I used to say I'll always be there
But I'm gonna hurt you more than you can take Never for a second think what we had was fake
Cause I loved you Mmmm.... I still love you
REF. But now I know why they say nothing last forever Guess I had some stupid idea we'd always be together And it kills me when all that filled me up Leaves my heart And it kills me to know what we had wasn't enough It tore us apart So sweet dream I lived in too long Unwillingly I'm now letting you go I'm letting you go
Dom har klämt in ett nytt stjärntecken så nu ändras allt :S
Här är de nya datumen: Stenbocken: 20 januari till 16 februari. Vattumannen: 16 februari till 11 mars. Fiskarna: 11 mars till 18 april. Väduren: 18 april till 13 maj. Oxen: 13 maj-21 juni. Tvillingarna: 21 juni till 20 juli. Kräftan: 20 juli till 10 augusti. Lejonet: 10 augusti till 16 september. Jungfrun: 16 september till 30 oktober Vågen: 30 oktober till 23 november. Skorpionen: 23 november till 29 november. Ormbäraren: 29 november till 17 december. Skytten: 17 december till 20 januari.
WTF! Nu är jag plötsligt jungfru ist för skorpion?! ALLT i skorpionens tecken stämmer in på mig o nu är jag en fjollig jungfru? Fuck that, född skorpion, dör skorpion!
Är i skuuulan, så jävla kallt de va imorse då man skulle dra mot bussen;o fiiffan!
Imorrn blire troligtvis Vindeln iaf, ju längre hemifrån - the betteeer! Lika bra att passa på o dra bort nu innan evk:n för efter evk:n lär ju mamma spärra in mig:O
Nu sitter jag o väntar på flikkoorna iaf. Torsdag är drygaste dagen på veckan but let's make the best of it jaooo;)
Favvo låten atm - What The Hell - A.L
You say that I'm messing with your head All 'cause I was making out with your friend Love hurts whether it's right or wrong I can't stop 'cause I'm having too much fun
Something's just isn't right I can feel it inside The truth isn't far behind me You can't deny When I turn the lights out When I close my eyes Reality overcomes me I'm living a lie
When I'm alone I feel so much better And when I'm around you I don't feel
Together It doesn't feel right at all Together Together we've built a wall Together holding hands we'll fall Hands we'll fall
This has gone on so long I realize that I need Something good to rely on Something for me
When I'm alone I feel so much better And when I'm around you I don't feel
Together It doesn't feel right at all Together Together we've built a wall Together holding hands we'll fall Hands we'll fall
My heart is broken I'm lying here My thoughts are choking On you, my dear On you, my dear On you, my dear
When I'm alone I feel so much better And when I'm around you I don't feel
When I'm around you When I'm around you I don't feel together I don't feel together
When I'm around you (together) When I'm around you (together) I don't feel together, no I don't feel together, no
Now I'm not gonna fight you, I'm not gonna argue, I'm not gonna give you the attention you seek. Your problems aren't my problems and you've got nothing to do with me anymore. So don't give me that look. After all the lies and the backstabbing you don't think I know about you really don't have the right to ever talk to me again.
I know you love drama, I know you like talking bs, but I'm done with that shit and i'm not gonna let you get to me. Try to destroy whatever you want for me and watch my careface grow each second
Thanks for the night, I needed some fun even though i needed some sleep as well though lol. So we figured out two facts last night: *I suck at guitar hero *Drinking that much coke = toilet overload
And now you're moving away you little twaattt :( Leaving me on my own. THANKS - A LOOOT! Bitch. And how I always told you I'd move first. Guess I was wrong. Again lol. Anyway, I needed a smile. Thanks :)
Sitter på svenskan och varken Emilia eller Felicia är här. Great. Jag är på mongolid depp humör och mitt huvud kmr sprängas snart. Härlig lärare också. dkjkasgdjsgbfgdjk shoot her
Why, do you always do this to me? Why, couldn't you just see through me? How come, you act like this Like you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall? I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away I can feel, I can feel you baby, why
It's not supposed to feel this way I need you, I need you More and more each day It's not supposed to hurt this way I need you, I need you, I need you Tell me, are you and me still together? Tell me, do you think we could last forever? Tell me, why
I'm standing in the crossroad Ready to turn left and run into your arms But then my head remember the words And the pain you caused my heart
Oh, baby I would've loved you forever But you changed every pattern We'd been building up Oh, I wasn't enough
All I really wanted was for you to hold my hand But you let me walk the cold night myself And you expect me to forgive you just like that And how I always belived you were something else
REF: But this is just another dream I got caught by too long And this is just how it feels When he leaves you on your own Boy, I've been playin' all the games Never thought you'd be the same As everyone who left a scar on my heart Which you just broke apart
I could tell you all the words But you should know it's over now I could tell you how I hurt But you wouldn't listen anyhow
You said you wanna know And that you care But when I open up so You're not even there
And all I really wanted was for you to try to see All I ever wanted was your honesty
REF: But this is just another dream I got caught by too long And this is just how it feels When he leaves you on your own Boy, I've been playin' all the games Never thought you'd be the same As everyone who left a scar on my heart Which you just broke apart
The first second you say you love me and you've never been so sure The other second I'm not even worth fighting for So I'm gonna walk this road on my own A way without lights I'm gonna keep it inside, won't let it show You taught me how
REF: Cause this is just another dream I got caught by too long And this is just how it feels When he leaves you on your own Boy, I've been playin' all the games Never thought you'd be the same As everyone who left a scar on my heart Which you just broke apart
Just nu haaver vi NK. Och jag har för mig att jag har tid hos skolsköterskan också. But I really don't feel like going to her. Bah.Bläh. Bluh. But I guess I'll just haave to
Emilia: We had a good start and then some srsly misunderstandings came in between us, but we solved it and busted the true reason for all the drama. Now you’re a best friend to me, and I never wanna lose you. I’m always gonna be here for you and I hope you know that. And promise me this; if anything tries to break through between us again – we won’t give in. You’re a srsly funny, happy, understanding, helpful and great girl. You make me s-m-i-l-e. Never change!
Felicia: I never doubted you. From the second we became friends I stayed true to you and I will always do. You know how to cheer me up and you believe me without questioning anything. You’re so gorgeous I srsly wonder if it’s even legal, and some ppl may think that’s all to it, but you’re smart, funny, generous, caring, understanding and you simply got all the qualities a best friend need. I love you!
Sanna: We didn’t spend as much time together as we both had wanted to, but let’s make a new year’s promise; we’re gonna make some srsly kick-ass memories out of 2011! Just you and me girl:). I love you so much, you’re the oldest friend of mine I still talk to and I’ve always trusted you. You’ve never bailed out on me and I’m so thankful me moving away didn’t end what had already started between us! Miles apart, doesn’t freakin matter. You’ll always be my bestie (L)
Nicke: *sigh* What on earth did I ever do to deserve someone like you? I’ll remember 2010 as a beautiful year, and that’s mostly bcuz of you. You changed my life the day you decided to be a part of it. I love you unbelievably much and I’ve already promised you I’m never gonna leave your side. I know this is just the beginning and no matter what happens (cuz things will for sure happen) I’ll never let go. Never. You make me feel stuff I can’t put words on, stuff that makes the word l-o-v-e sound lame. You’re my everything, and you srsly need to get that into your head cause I’m ain’t goin anywhere.
Sina: I hate the fact that you live so far away. I mean, you’re A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I haven’t known you that long, but I’m sure this is just the beginning. You’re an amazing friend and you always leave me with a smile upon my face. You get me like no one else and when we start talkin’ there’s just no stop! I trust you with all my heart and my guts says you’re 100% reliable, and you’ve got to trust your guts! You’re incredibly strong, smart and funny. Never change that demon heart of yours, it’s you and you’re too unique to ever pretend to be anyone else. Love you my sister from anothaa mister!
You know who you are: Once everything was good, but it just got worse each time you came back. I didn’t get to tell you last time, and I don’t know if I ever will after that but I’m sorry. You know I wish, too, it would’ve worked out somehow. But we wanted two completely different things. You’ll find your princess one day, but I won’t be her.
Yupp, I'm going ljusare. Blir nog massa slingor till att börja med, typ som nedan. Sen om det inte blir bra är det ju bara att kasta över mörk färg igen, piece of cake Det får verkligen inte bli som det blev sist! Gult/orange, såg ut som en kyckling!
I don't know what I expected. Why be disappointed? You knew it wouldn't do any difference. You always knew, but yet you tried so hard and you're still trying. Yeah, sometimes you just gotta hate yourself
Jag funderar på att bli ljusare. Jag vet att jag passar bäst i mörkt, det är det som är mitt naturliga after all. Men jag känner för lite förnyelse nu, lite less på det mörka. Jag skulle vilja ha en mörkblond/honungsfärgad nyans this time. Ska bara låta håret vila ett tag , börja äta mina järntabletter och så, så det blir friskt först. Sen ska jag ta ett snack me mammafriiisörn och se om det här går & ordna ;)
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
I've always thought of myself as a quick learner. If I make a mistake, I never make the same again. I thought. The mistake I make over and over every day is the fact that I'm making myself vulnerable all the time. I need to stop, cuz it's gonna be the end of me.
Jag har nu läst igenom alla dina låttexter du har skrivit ut på den här bloggen och jag måste säga att du har talang! Jag tror alla tjejer kan känna igen sig i det du skriver och jag läste där i början att du nojade över att lägga ut texter för allmänheten, men jag tycker du nojar dig av helt fel skäl om vi säger så. Du ska inte va rädd att folk tycker du suger, du ska snarare vara rädd för att folk kommer SNO dina texter när du lägger ut dem såhär fritt. Sätt copyright på bloggen är ett tips, men sluta inte dela med dig! Du är grymt duktig och du får testa sjunga någon av dina låttexter och visa oss, blir lite nyfiken på melodierna:) Kram!
Svar: Tack så hemskt mkt:)
Jag är dock inte rädd för att lägga ut för att folk ska tycka dom suger, det är lite mer att jag är rädd för att blotta mig. Allt jag skriver är för det mesta baserat på mitt eget liv och det jag går igenom personligen, det är som att låta alla läsa min dagbok, which can be en aning pinsamt hehe;p
Jag kanske testar spela in nåt...nån gång.... Men, förvänta er inget haha(a)
Yesterday was an emotionally,sad and hectic day. I really felt like losing it and the least person on earth I thought could help - helped. I may have been too hard on you, I really appreciate what you said even if you should hate me by now. Today I didn't wake up sad at all, I went nuts instead. Angry, frustrated and irritated. I was in this state where I just wanted to scream, cry and laugh at the same time. Elias took me back on earth though lol. Thanks for putting up with me when I'm like that. Thanks for listening and thanks for making me smile.
Soooooooooooo, it's 04:35 in the morning and I wanna do something crazy. I'm so sick of being home already. I'm so sick of behaving in general lol. I wanna make a total fool of myself and lose all the control that's left. And that's xactly what I'm going to do as fast as this fever is gone. It's gonna be freakin mental
You make me smile whenever I feel like jumping of a cliff. You're always there.
Thank you. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. The way you kept me from making that flat fall today..I'm just grateful. I love u my friend;*
I would've told you...in that very moment, all I could think was: where in hell are you now? But now? It's too late and it doesn't even matter...and you..you'll ever know. I'll just add what happened to my long list of unspoken stories.
Sitter här och mår...BAJS! Igår var allt jag åt en macka och idag vräker jag i mig ist. Mamma lämnade otroligt god pastamåltid & sen har hon bakat bullar. Jävla mamma alltså. Feber dessutom. Orkar inte!
Så denna morgon hade väl kunnat starta bättre. Doesn't even matter :P
Idag ska jag fortsätta försöka plugga lite. Gjorde ändå ganska mkt igår, men mer behövs:P Snart börjar ju skolan igen och jag är inte taggad nånstans. Det blir stenhårt plugg nästa termin och sen vill jag börja röra på mig igen. Dans eller kickboxning är det som lockar men troligtvis dans. I've missed it.
Okej, min sömn är rätt messed up just nu. Borde verkligen sova. But I can't.
Den här dagen har varit sick. (och nej,inte bah för att jag råkar hosta som en dåre) Har skrattat, har släppt lös några tårar - men framförallt blivit förvånad gång på gång. Har lite beslut att ta nu. And it's not gonna be easy
Jag saknar Italien. Jag saknar de sagolika byggnaderna, den härliga atmosfären, det vänliga folket... Miss Paolo and Maria aswell, fina människor de där ♥
När jag åkte hem till Sverige var det back to reality igen. Kyla, problem, drama. Massa bajs.
I'd go back any day. Fast isåfall med någon kompis. Att resa med sin familj är faktiskt ingen höjdare. Trust me on that one.
- You say you're fine. A smile can't be too much to ask then
- Fine, I'm smiling
- No you're not
- How would you know? You can't see me!
- Yeah, but you're still not smiling
- And how can you know that?
- Because I know you
I never thought you'd be the one to make me smile tonight. We've been so lost in this drama that we forgot the love along the way. You still know how to cheer me up, and I really needed that tonight. The call started awkwardly but ended in laughter.
Thank you, because of you maybe I won't write so many depressing songs tonight. Maybe I'll write a happy one. Lol. For once.
...how much this is causing me to suffer. And as always I'm keeping it inside, waiting for you to understand what you're doing to me, what you're doing wrong. But I hope you know that even if I'm patient - I won't wait forever.
Ugh. I can't believe I'm even considering what I may be about to do.
You want to know what's in my head. Well, here it is. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.
I know you shouldn't say these kind of things, especially not after just three months, cuz it's usually things like this which scares the guy away, but I don't care, this is how I feel.
It turned out that you always were the one. You were always there even when I didn't realize. It took us years to finally make something out of it and I honestly don't regret a single second with you. You make me forget all the sorrow, all my problems...pretty much everything that bothers me in general. With you I just feel so light, untroubled and okay for once. You're my personal happyplace to be. You make me feel things I can't describe and someway you always leave me breathless. You may not see how beautiful, special and purehearted you are but I do and you know, I always had an image of what kind of guy you are but as time passed by and I got to know you better I found myself surprised. From time to time I wondered if you're even for real. You're not the slightest bit like all the assholes I've known. You're...you're everything I've ever wanted and more. And I wish you could understand how much you mean to me, how hard you make my heart pound within this fragile body everytime I see you and how happy I feel whenever you say you love me. You make me feel like all the bad things I've been through was worth it in the end, cause in the end some of those terrible things led me to you. You make me less fragile, you've got me believin' again.
And here's where you're excpected to run for your life from your choking gf;
I love you. And I can't seem to see an end for that love,so straight out; I wanna be with you forever. No one else, just you. I know forever is a big word. But so is my love for you.
There's many things I'm not sure of. Who's real, who's fake? Am I strong enough for that, am I smart enough to get there? What will I be ten years from now? Will I be a successfull journalist or lawyer, will I still be involved with my music, or will I just be nothing, a complete loser? I don't know, I don't even know what I want anymore. Except one thing. I wanna be with you. Cause then, no matter what I will turn out to be, at least I will be happy. I love you no matter what and I'm not planning on ever stop doing that.
I really don't get why you settled for someone like me though, you could do so much better and you know it. I'm glad you chose me though, never been happier since you told me that very first time. And sometimes I even trick myself you truly, genuinly love me and those short moments I'm the happiest girl on earth. Until my pink bubbles explode and I fall back into reality where it's just impossible that someone like you can love someone like me. I don't know. Maybe you do. But if that's the case, it's not anywhere near how much I love you. I bet my arm on that one.
Ugh I could keep this up all day but the point is; I fucking love you and I hope you fucking understand it cause fucking denial isn't healthy you know.
And I hope you're not on the run all the way to China by now. But you wanted me to let you inside my head, right?
So this took me a while to get off my chest, and it's one of those 'letters' you write but don't really send. But hell, I'm sending it. In my life I've always left things unsaid but it's not gonna be like that with you, you deserve to know how beautiful you are.
You want to know what's in my head. Well, here it is. Don't tell me I didn't warn you.
I know you shouldn't say these kind of things, especially not after just three months, cuz it's usually things like this which scares the guy away, but I don't care, this is how I feel.
It turned out that you always were the one. You were always there even when I didn't realize. It took us years to finally make something out of it and I honestly don't regret a single second with you. You make me forget all the sorrow, all my problems...pretty much everything that bothers me in general. With you I just feel so light, untroubled and okay for once. You're my personal happyplace to be. You make me feel things I can't describe and someway you always leave me breathless. You may not see how beautiful, special and purehearted you are but I do and you know, I always had an image of what kind of guy you are but as time passed by and I got to know you better I found myself surprised. From time to time I wondered if you're even for real. You're not the slightest bit like all the assholes I've known. You're...you're everything I've ever wanted and more. And I wish you could understand how much you mean to me, how hard you make my heart pound within this fragile body everytime I see you and how happy I feel whenever you say you love me. You make me feel like all the bad things I've been through was worth it in the end, cause in the end some of those terrible things led me to you. You make me less fragile, you've got me believin' again.
And here's where you're excpected to run for your life from your choking gf;
I love you. And I can't seem to see an end for that love,so straight out; I wanna be with you forever. No one else, just you. I know forever is a big word. But so is my love for you.
There's many things I'm not sure of. Who's real, who's fake? Am I strong enough for that, am I smart enough to get there? What will I be ten years from now? Will I be a successfull journalist or lawyer, will I still be involved with my music, or will I just be nothing, a complete loser? I don't know, I don't even know what I want anymore. Except one thing. I wanna be with you. Cause then, no matter what I will turn out to be, at least I will be happy. I love you no matter what and I'm not planning on ever stop doing that.
I really don't get why you settled for someone like me though, you could do so much better and you know it. I'm glad you chose me though, never been happier since you told me that very first time. And sometimes I even trick myself you truly, genuinly love me and those short moments I'm the happiest girl on earth. Until my pink bubbles explode and I fall back into reality where it's just impossible that someone like you can love someone like me. I don't know. Maybe you do. But if that's the case, it's not anywhere near how much I love you. I bet my arm on that one.
Ugh I could keep this up all day but the point is; I fucking love you and I hope you fucking understand it cause fucking denial isn't healthy you know.
And I hope you're not on the run all the way to China by now. But you wanted me to let you inside my head, right?
And I feel released and harmonic for the first time since you entered my life. That goodbye was nothing but a farewell and you know it. So yeah, farewell.
Sitter och dricker te & tröstäter choklad. Why bli sjuk NU?! Fuck DAT :o :( Min dygnsrytm är helt fuckad också, somnade runt halv sju och vaknade runt tolv? Kändes inte som mkt sömn det där.
Jag saknar mina flickor Felicia & Emilia! Vi får hitt på ngt alla tre innan jullovet är över ffaaaan:). Sen blire till & stenplugga för oss alla tre (Y).
I've made up my mind. I just don't know how to tell you. How do I tell you? I didn't want it to end this way, but you leave me with no choice. Cause after all, what you're doing is just the beginning. The odds are too big. I'm sorry.
I'm so sick of this now, you're emotionally messing me up. I've told you all there was left to say, I've closed the story of us long time ago but you refuse to stop. You try to make me look like some sort of cold bitch with no empathy but I care and I guess that's why you can't let go, you know I still care and you're taking advantage of that. But as I told you last time , if you try with anything again I'll freakin make you wish you never came back.
Yeee första blogginlägget för i år! Gott nytt år på er allesammans, hööppas ni haft en kuuliiig aftttoon :))) Nu ska jag & honbonii se Dear John (jag övertalade honom).
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Sen om det inte blir bra är det ju bara att kasta över mörk färg igen, piece of cake 
Det får verkligen inte bli som det blev sist! Gult/orange, såg ut som en kyckling!
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